Today is a tough day, for me and for my husband: Neither one of us has a dad to celebrate today. And we’re only in our early ’30s. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?
We both lost our dads, three months apart, almost five years ago. And while the pain has mostly subsided, it’s days like this that the emotions, the memories, the laughter and the tears make a swirling return.
My dad was the best man I know. He was patient, kind, humble, intelligent, loving, respectful….I could go on and on. But, like everyone, he had flaws (which I realized as an adult). But in the eyes of daddy’s little girl, my dad moved the world.
So at our house, Father’s Day was a big deal. (So was Mother’s Day.) I realize now it’s because my parents respected each other and truly loved each other. They instilled in their daughters the importance of saying “I love you.”
Usually, the day was filled with homemade cards filled with mispelled words and smelly stickers, a boat ride (pre-boat it was a bike ride) and some of dad’s favorites. But what I remember most is the priceless gift of time. I remember dad’s smile as he thanked us for the cards. Or his laughter as we told him why we loved him so much. Or dad’s look of discomfort as he filled up on seconds.
And this is why I miss my dad. These are the moments I cherish. These are the moments I so wanted my kids to have with their grandpas.
But, at the same time, my kids are lucky to have these moments with their dad, who is also caring, loving, gentle and kind. They’re lucky to have a dad who can wrestle with them one minute and wipe away tears the next.
So, today, thank you to my husband for being an amazing dad.
And thank you, dad, for the memories. I’m sending Father’s Day wishes to heaven, complete with kissing hands from your grandchildren.
I love you.
Tip: (For those of you struggling with this, too, here are some good resources: http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/fathers_day_without_dad.html.)