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Archive for the ‘Memories’ Category

Thanksgiving

I’m back.

For those of you who know the horrific summer I experienced, hello. For those of you who don’t, ask, and I’ll tell you.

The last few months have been Hell on earth. I’ve never experienced so much pain, frustration and mental and emotional anguish. But I’m here. And it could’ve been so much worse.

The days at U of M Burn and Trauma Center dragged. Mindless TV filled the hours of drug-induced therapy. It was fine — then. But now I’m here. Trying to recover lost memories of  a summer vacation gone bad.

So here I am. Thanksgiving. A time to give thanks for everything I’ve had and have. Now seems the best time to jump back into the blogosphere.

  • My dad. Although he’s gone, I’m thankful for the years of carving turkey, and frying stuffing leftovers. I miss you, but I’ll never forget.
  • My mom. She is amazing. She has reinvented herself after a horrible tragedy. She still cares for me as if I were a child, and I can always count on her. I love her. And thank God I can talk to her.
  • My sister. What can I say? She is gorgous. She is strong, talented, brilliant, funny, kind…it goes on and on. She has dealt with life’s toughest moments,  but has overcome them with pride I admire.
  • My friends. I don’t have a ton of friends. But the friends I have are my world. Jacquie: You know how I feel. Without you, I’d be lost. And Lana: After all these years, I still love you. And Kristin: While I don’t understand your decision to play G.I. Jane, I love you. And Mandy, well, you know how much I love those Up North Trips. And Rachael: I don’t even have to explain how much I value our talks, our El Az lunches. I love you all.
  • My husband. I don’t even know where to start. We hit rock bottom, but you kept us from sinking. Thank you for the amazing support, care and unconditional love you’ve shown me. I am blessed.

I know there are people I’m missing. And there are moments I’m missing.

But for now, here it is:

White whine — solace at the end of writer’s block
Mindless TV — My life really is normal
Diet Coke — How I love you at 3 p.m.
Chocolate — I love you all the time, especially at 3 p.m.
Skip-bath-nights — O.K. I’ll admit it. After a day of regimen, it’s nice to welcome Friday-night lets-be-happy-in-our filth. Germs are good, right?

As we all spend time with family and friends, let’s take time to remember those with whom we’ve shared life’s most precious moments.

Thank you to everyone who has  blessed my life. I love you all.

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Today is the first day of summer. As I sit here and watch a fly swirl around my brand new lamp, I’m reminded of the pesty intruders that come with summer.

But I’m also listening to crickets chirp and frogs croak. I’m watching the drapes move in the summer breeze. And tonight, I heard the first illegal firework. I love the sounds and feel of summer.

My kids are tan. They’re rested. They’re smiling when I get home from work. And they’re exhausted from spending all day in the pool, riding bikes with friends, eating popsicles until their arms turn purple. 

Remember those days? Remember only caring about which swimsuit to wear, which sunscreen to use and which fire fly to catch?

If only I could return to the simple days of summer. Who knew those days would be so precious. Who knew I would cherish the longest day of light, the most beautiful sunset and the smell of summer rain.

Summer was the catalyst for my favorite memories: bathing in the lake while camping, learning to water ski, fireworks with caramel corn.

I hope someday my kids appreciate the peace of summer and the tranquility of childhood.

Thanks, Summer Solstice, for reminding us of what really matters.

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Today is a tough day, for me and for my husband: Neither one of us has a dad to celebrate today. And we’re only in our early ’30s. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

We both lost our dads, three months apart, almost five years ago. And while the pain has mostly subsided, it’s days like this that the emotions, the memories, the laughter and the tears make a swirling return.

My dad was the best man I know. He was patient, kind, humble, intelligent, loving, respectful….I could go on and on. But, like everyone, he had flaws (which I realized as an adult). But in the eyes of daddy’s little girl, my dad moved the world.

So at our house, Father’s Day was a big deal. (So was Mother’s Day.) I realize now it’s because my parents respected each other and truly loved each other. They instilled in their daughters the importance of saying “I love you.”

Usually, the day was filled with homemade cards filled with mispelled words and smelly stickers, a boat ride (pre-boat it was a bike ride) and some of dad’s favorites. But what I remember most is the priceless gift of time. I remember dad’s smile as he thanked us for the cards. Or his laughter as we told him why we loved him so much. Or dad’s look of discomfort as he filled up on seconds.

And this is why I miss my dad. These are the moments I cherish. These are the moments I so wanted my kids to have with their grandpas.

But, at the same time, my kids are lucky to have these moments with their dad, who is also caring, loving, gentle and kind. They’re lucky to have a dad who can wrestle with them one minute and wipe away tears the next.

So, today, thank you to my husband for being an amazing dad.

And thank you, dad, for the memories. I’m sending Father’s Day wishes to heaven, complete with kissing hands from your grandchildren.

I love you.

Tip: (For those of you struggling with this, too, here are some good resources: http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/fathers_day_without_dad.html.)

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